Comments on: Why You Should Always Eat Lunch Alone (Well, Almost Always)

By: emine

emine — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 11:03:29 +0000

My husband and I are very close, but we spend very little time together compared to other couples…or maybe we are close because of it. We are both very creative and need a lot of ’space’. He jokes that he loves me because I ignore him When we are together we tend to talk on a deep level, mainly about essentials, we really connect. This is very satisfying. He is my best friend.

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 00:48:04 +0000

Like so many of the people who responded to this well-written post, I too have an indigenous desire for solitude. I suppose I’ve always had it.

I was still a child, really, when I recognized the need to be totally alone at times. Looking back at the period between my childhood and young-adulthood, there were many people who could not comprehend this.

At present, I have a wonderful wife and a 6yo son who both understand the importance of solitude. Even now, there aren’t many people who agree with our views.

Solitude allows humans to ponder questions they cannot find time or space to address elsewhere. Those who spend time in solitude return to the world
renewed and bring to their lives a heightened sense of balance and focus. Solitude, then, is essential for living life well.

By: Adarsh Ramamurthy

Adarsh Ramamurthy — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 14:20:40 +0000

While I was reading this, I experienced my own childhood flash by my eyes. Even I am an intense solitude lover. I agree to each and every point you mentioned, Steve. Great writing, indeed.

Loneliness inspires creativity. Almost all my achievements have happened after all are asleep at home. I start working after all have left office.

Another interesting aspect that adds to this solitude addiction in my case, is trance music. It really gets us into our own world, making us achieve the impossible!

Trance Music + Loneliness = Marvelous Results!

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 15:24:23 +0000

Andrew,

I understand. When I first started at my current job. About nine years ago. I ate lunch alone. After about a year I began to eat lunch with groups everyday. After a while I began to miss the alone time and I withdrew from the lunching groups. I was afraid they’d think I was arrogant. You know, many introverts are mistaken for arrogant jerks. Anyway, for the last several years I eat lunch alone, and it has helped me mentally and physically. I don’t eat as much food. I still go out with a group a couple times a month, but mostly I eat alone.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:02:31 +0000

I eat lunch alone almost every day I work. I have worked for a Fortune-50 company for about seven years. I use to have to turn down numerous calls to have lunch with various people — usually groups of people. Now, it seems most people I interact with just know that I eat lunch alone. Occasionally I have to revisit my explanation of why I eat alone. Which, I kind of like because it reminds me of who I am — and how I am “wired.” I explain, “I enjoy the alone-time … I enjoy reading a book or an aritcle … I enjoy being alone with my thoughts and thinking about the things I think about — not the thoughts of a group of lunchers.” I get arguments from some. But people are alway pleasant about it. However, I always feel odd in some way. It seems to me that, where I work anyways, the “norm” is to have lunch with others. And the thought of changing my ways makes me shutter. Thanks for sharing. I feel a little more “normal” now.

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 05:11:56 +0000

Omar,
Because half of Generation X (US) was named Steve.

Thanks for all the great comments everyone.

Steve O.

By: Omar

Omar — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 01:17:56 +0000

First of all why is every mother trucker writting a blog named steve? Second, I love the point you make about the importance of alone time to get some good thinking done. I do my best thinking on the John, before I fall asleep in bed, or when ever one else has left the office building and I’m free to talk to myself and verbally sketch out ideas. Thanks for the great read, makes me realize I need to seek out more alone time.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 19:54:58 +0000

Funnily enough the idea of solitude has come up twice in the last two days. My husband was talking of a friend who is taking his family on a two-week holiday in a hotel ‘family room’. I said that this was my idea of hell – I love my family but two weeks of not being able to have any alone time would drive me mad. We always go self-catering so I can at least go into another room for half an hour or so.

Then today I was talking to the secretary at my daughter’s school. She noted that I always turn up early and I said that the half hour before I collected my daughter was ‘me’ time. I have usually been studying or doing the housework with constant interruptions from family and so on and so this time in my car, sometimes freezing cold in winter, was my time to unwind. I find I especially need it as the children get older and go to bed later. They will be going to bed the same time as me in a few years (10pm) so alone time then will be gone (my husband works evenings as an entertainer so he doesn’t really factor in at this time of night).

I love my family and enjoy spending time with friends but I do think that everyone needs some time alone with their thoughts. As Brian says – I thought I was the only one. It’s great to know I’m not.

By: Brian

Brian — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 09:19:46 +0000

I thought I was the only one who craved solitude! Thanks for this really great post. I really like your writing style. It is honest and from the heart.

By: Monica Ricci

Monica Ricci — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 06:23:45 +0000

Is it possible to be highly sensitive AND a true extrovert?? There is so much about me that I think would qualify me as a “highly sensitive” person. I am always aware of my surroundings, the sounds, the smells, the visual distractions. In fact what is hilarious is that my friends and my husband nicknamed me “Super Sensitive Sense Girl” because my hearing is very acute, my sense of smell is very strong, I can feel vibrations that nobody else can feel, and my sense of taste is very highly developed.

YET, I don’t crave solitude like it seems most highly sensitive people do.
I do crave CALM, order, and I despise chaos (big surprise that I’m in the industry I’m in huh??) but I genuinely enjoy people, and as a true extrovert, I am energized by interacting with them, as long as I can choose the size of the group. I also love public speaking and any type of group discussion, until it gets chaotic and then I want to run to a corner. Also, large bustling crowds stress me out, as does prolonged loud music, cacophony, and visual clutter. Am I an anomaly?