Are video games dangerous, or are the detractors nothing but fear mongering luddites? I don’t know, but I will give you some personal observations.
Last week my 4-year-old son became completely obsessed with Sypro 2: Ripto’s Revenge. Is this a good thing or bad thing?
When he obsessed about his ABCs until he knew each letter sound and could repeat them backward and forward, it didn’t frighten me.
When he pulled out the Dr. Seuss dictionary and spent 6 hours a day for 20 straight days writing every word in the dictionary on his white board repeatedly until he could spell them perfectly, I wasn’t worried. It freaked me out, but I didn’t worry.
When he spent two weeks obsessively learning every nation in Africa, every state in the United States, and every ocean on Earth, I thought it was pretty cool.
When he wanted to read “Where the Wild Things Are” twenty five times a day, it was irritating, but I never felt I was a bad parent for indulging his desire.
When he wouldn’t do anything but mazes for a month, did I worry? Nope.
When he repeatedly begged me to look at the Road Atlas and explain what every symbol in the key represented and where he could find it on the map, I was happy to oblige him.
But yesterday after the fourth straight day of constant obsession about Spyro the Dragon, I pulled the plug on the PS1. Now I am wondering whether I’ve done the right thing. I’m thinking of giving the game back tonight, because I’m afraid I acted on some unconscious fear that seeped into my mind from media fear mongers. What’s worse is that I told myself I would always let my boys finish what they start, even if it is a video game. But yesterday it seemed to go too far and I felt I had to end it.
This led me to ask some serious questions about why I yanked the game console:
Did I do it because I was afraid? Afraid that allowing him to obsess about a video game meant I was bad father.
Why is it okay for him to obsess about numbers, letters, reading, books, music, sports, but not video games?
Am I afraid he’ll become obese? When I was young, most kids I knew watched 4-5 hours of TV everyday, few were in school activities, and nobody was obese. Studies have proven video game playing burns more calories than passively watching TV. I know why kids are obese – they eat too much sh!tty food and drink too much pop.
Is this some old puritan pleasure/punishment syndrome surfacing from deep in my subconscious? We should only obsess about things that are painful but never things that are fun and pleasurable. Why pleasurable obsessions could lead to a boy becoming a fat, lazy, sex crazed, chronic self-pleaser, and I don’t want that, he could become so blind he wouldn’t notice the hair growing on his palms.
This last question bothers me the most…
Is there a part of me that is afraid he is having too much fun, and I should end the fun, because the boy needs to understand that life isn’t just fun and games? But what else does a 4-year-old have to do? I mean, how difficult should his life be?
It also seems that the game is quite educational – at least for a 4-year-old. He needs 10,000 gems to get through a certain door. He has 8,765 gems so he asks me how many he needs to get 10,000 and this led to an understanding of multi-digit subtraction.
My boss – Jim Fischer – our Senior Vice President of Information Services, said that his father believes the reason Jim is so successful in IT is due to his obsession with coin-op video games like Asteroids back in the 70s and 80s. He used to ride his banana seat Schwinn Sting-Ray eight miles to the mall and play Asteroids for hours. It doesn’t appear Jim’s video game obsession led to his ruin. But Jim does believe – that if he had the games kids have today – he may not have graduated from college.
I’ve told myself that I haven’t bought into the media hysteria about video games. I read It’s not the Media and I agree with the author’s thesis. But I believe I still overreacted to my son’s obsession with Spyro the Dragon. Why? What fear created my overreaction?
Some obsessions are culturally acceptable and some are not… why? Where do these rules originate?
83 Responses
lornadoone
February 27th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
1You know, moderation in just about anything is a pretty decent quality to teach to your children, too. Like you, I would be less apt to stop him from learning numbers than from playing a video game, so I think your questions are interesting and well thought out. I suppose my biggest concern would be that a) video games might not encourage him to use has imagination as much as, say, a book and b) what is the content of the video game. I would be more likely to allow him to spend time with a game that was actively encouraging him to learn to subtract multi-digit numbers if it didn’t require him to kill things.
Yeah, I’m going to go with “moderation in all things.”
Good, thought-provoking post!
Chris
February 27th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
2Steve – Video games are excellent learning tools for kids. Playing video games is known to release endorphins in the minds of children. If alcohol is liquid courage for adults, in my experience that endorphin rush is like liquid passion for kids. If that time is spent learning how to solve puzzles, explore ( digital ) worlds, learning ingenuity and building coordination then I say, more power to the kids!
That said I believe that there are exceptions. My son _loves_ video games. So much so, that he’s lied and sneaked around to play them when he has been obligated to do other things…like sleep. When any obsession turns into deceit ( in my case ), thievery, violence or any kind of predatory behavior, it’s time to get some help.
In my opinion, there is one other reason that I know of that should cause concern from a parent when letting their kids play video games. When the theme or play of the games are contrary to the values system that you’re trying to compel your kids to follow, then run away. To that end…FIND OUT SOMETHING ABOUT THE #*$&#&# GAME BEFORE YOU LET YOUR KIDS PLAY IT! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
I’m always surprised when a parent is shocked to find out that even though they bought the game, their daughter has been playing Boca Raton Vice 6 – The Next Tryst and it contains gore and sexually explicit images. I don’t have a problem with video games with gore in them. I’ve played my share. These days, I don’t play those kinds of games because they’re just not entertaining to me. The angle that the media is playing at is that they can shock ignorant parents into action: that action is to watch their programming. The media is not trying to expose that the games are exceptionally intense, it’s that ignorant people will watch their “expose’” about games only to find out that they gave little Johnny the equivalent of soft porn. Know thy game.
As for me, I actually still play video games with my kids. I buy them games, they don’t have to ask for them. I play the games with them. I also feel “guilty” because I’m thirty-something and still playing video games, but then again I feel guilty for not using coasters, so don’t mind me.
Dan and Jennifer
February 27th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
3Hey Steve,
Excellent though-provoking post, as always.
Yeah, that “last question” is the scariest indeed. Like I told you a while back, I’ve spent the last few years “un-learning” some of the stuff that’s been in my head since childhood. Jennifer and I opt for critical thinking every time possible/feasible.
Once you wake up to this idea and start paying attention, it’s downright amazing how much destructive programming we collect by the time we reach adulthood. Downright amazing.
then on the video games there’s of course the issue of “the brain perceiving what it sees as reality whether it’s in front of you or on TV” – which would make me be pretty selective of any video games and TV, i.e. in my case that would entail no gore, etc.
Have an awesome day!
Dan
Henrik Edberg
February 27th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
4Interesting article. I remember when we used to play video games a lot and our parents wanted us to go out to play (this was 10-15 years ago).
I am often surprised, and I agree with Chris, about how little parents seems to know about what their kids are playing (or what their kids are doing at all). It´s like they have made their mind up that games are for kids and nothing parents could, or even should to protect kids from excessive killing, be interested in.
It seems like kids are getting unhealthier here in Sweden too (compared to 15 years ago when I was a kid) and perhaps they are playing too much videogames and too little frisbee-golf.
I must say that the Nintendo Wii seems to be a nice solution to the play video games vs. go out and play some sport problem. From what I hear you get a pretty good workout playing Wii. =)
Tim
February 27th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
5I have a similar issue with what sounds like a similar child right now.
There are activities that could be considered investments, i.e. learning to spell, learning geography, learning to read. Then there are activities where by its very hard to find such a return on the time and effort spent, obviously activities such as television and video games tend to fall into the later category.
I think that the longer you can guide a child’s passions into activities that are investments, the better for your child.
My child is into Gran Turismo but I’m being careful that video games don’t drain his passion for other areas of life that will ultimately prove more rewarding for him. Hes gained a passion for cars, so I’m directing this passion to learning how they work which he enjoys.
Dan and Jennifer
February 27th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
6Hey Steve,
Wow, I admire you immensely for even asking these questions. As a parent I can really relate to your concerns.
Jennifer
Edmund
February 27th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
7Steve,
From reading your writing obsessing about your son playing video games, I can see where he gets his obsessiveness. (I hope that reads as a joke to you, because that’s the way I meant it.)
Seriously, from having read many of your entries, I think you already know the answers to this dilemma. It seems to me that you believe that children are actually small people. It also seems to me that you recognize that adults are a product of whatever influences and recurrences from when they were children. That’s one of the reasons why you don’t like public schools.
My personal opinion about video games, internet, television, or pretty much anything is that there isn’t anything inherently wrong with them. Most likely this obsession will follow the pattern of previous ones and your son will grow bored with it. That’s how it’s always been with me, anyway, when I’ve discovered a new obsession.
The important thing, I think, is that you do what you’ve been doing. Stay involved, point out alternatives, and give a lot of guidance. I’m pretty sure you already do all of those things. Those things probably put you in the top 10% of dads or higher.
Edmund
February 27th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
8Steve,
I meant to say something about the following sentence in my reply, but somehow didn’t:
What I wanted to say is that from reading your blog, you also seem to be coming to the realization that life is (or could/should be) mostly about fun, games, and happiness.
Steve
February 27th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
9Hey Everyone…
Thanks for the comments.
Lornadoone,
I agree about the moderation thing. I know you are right, but… I’ve tried moderation and it just doesn’t work for me and I’m afraid it won’t work for my oldest son either. I’m either full-on wide-open passionate or I’m bored. It’s a blessing and a curse. Obsession sucks if your passion is whiskey, but it ain’t so bad when your passion is reading or writing.
Chris,
Hey I’m glad to see you commenting. I think you were one of the first commenters on this site ever!
No doubt about the content of these games… no GTA in my house…. Yet. And since I play the games with him, I’m not afraid of the content, but the obsession still scares me.
Dan and Jennifer,
I know what your are saying about the mind perceiving anything you feed it as reality. Crap in – crap out – right? Maybe that is what I’m afraid of – distorting his view of reality.
Henrik,
Sorry to stereotype but… I thought all you Swedes were like us Minnesotans – obsessed with Ice Hockey. Am I wrong? You’ll never get fat playing ice hockey.
Tim,
I question whether video games do fall into the latter category. In our modern technologically advanced society, maybe excelling at video games is as important as excelling in music. It’s just a embryonic arena of understanding and competition. At one time authority and academics condemned fictional literature into the latter category.
Edmund,
Thanks… you are getting to know me. I am completely obsessive and I take no offence to your joke. Calling me obsessive is like calling water wet. It is a fact. Yes… I do believe life should be fun and filled with games and frivolity. Damn straight!
therealdrag0
February 27th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
10Great post man. I love to see introspection. Keep it up.
I think it is better to do things in a more rounded and moderate way, but there are people out there who just blaze through life finding something they love and then doing it until they don’t like it anymore. I don’t know if one way is better then the other.
Except with relationships. Hate to love a women for a while and then not. Or alcohol, love it and then get addicted..
Henrik Edberg
February 28th, 2007 at 3:48 am
11Hmm, yeah we play a lot of ice hockey here too. But I think that´s most popular in the north part of Sweden. In the south, where I live, I´d say that soccer and horse-riding are the most popular sports among kids nowadays. Table-tennis is pretty popular too (everyone played it when I was 10-15).
Rick Cockrum
February 28th, 2007 at 7:50 am
12Steve – Learning to read a map, the alphabet, words isn’t fun and games? Strange concept. Teach him that, and you may teach him to hate school.
Obsessing isn’t bad in itself. It’s called focus. Obsessing is only bad if other needed things are ignored. Video games aren’t bad in and of themselves. They have a lot to teach – hand/eye coordination, problem-solving, pursuing goals, frustration tolerance – are these things bad. There is no comparison with popular television.
One of my sons was severely ADHD – to the point that we put him on ritalin, sent him to Catholic school, and pursued other therapies. He wouldn’t read. He wouldn’t focus on anything except videos games. To teach him to read, and to instill a desire to read in him, we subscribed to Nintendo magazine. It worked. We played games with him to teach him to share and model frustration tolerance. It helped. With my kids in general, as long as they did what was required of them by us and school, I let them do whatever they pleased as long as it was within the bounds of the moral values we were trying to teach them. The son with ADHD – he’s been off all medications for years and is in the army. He still plays video games for hours on end, just like you and I read and write and many others here play games, but he can put it down when it’s time.
An obsession is only destructive when it interferes with the rest of life.
Pamela
February 28th, 2007 at 8:57 am
13Video games are not at all bad. There are lots of educational games you can let your child play. As for the obsession, I agree with moderation.
John Wesley
February 28th, 2007 at 9:40 am
14I don’t think video games are necessarily bad for kids, but it could be harmful if it’s a constant obsession. Is this any different than an obsession with a book? I’m not sure. The problem with video games is they don’t really lead anywhere. An obsession with reading leads to the improvement of language skills and vocabulary.
Riley McArdle
February 28th, 2007 at 11:10 am
15You might want to read “Everything Bad Is Good For You” by Steven Berlin Johnson. In it, he argues that television and video games have grown more complex and mentally demanding and thus work out the brain in ways that help you out in real world situations.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everything_Bad_Is_Good_For_You
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1594481946/
Link
February 28th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
16If we don’t allow children to make and learn from their own mistakes, what kind of mistakes will they be making as an Adult? Will they be self-reliant or dependent on someone else to tell them what to do, when to eat, when to sleep, when to study….etc.
We’re always trying to force children and people in general to do things that are contrary to their “nature”. Why? Why do humans think they can make others better? Why not let human nature take it course?
“When we hate ourselves, we hate others.
When we’re tolerant of ourselves, we tolerate others.”
I’d like to add one more line to Eric Hoffer’s quote.
“When we trust ourselves, we trust others.”
See the Sudbury Valley School model of education for a system that fosters human creativity, and individual responsibility.
No curriculum, No homework, No class schedules, Students decide what to do with their time by themselves. A place where students learn in freedom.
http://www.sudval.org
http://www.sudburynetwork.org
JackDirt
March 1st, 2007 at 5:29 am
17My initial reaaction, is that of amazement. I mean to hear a story of a 4 year old playing too many video games. That to me is incredible. Most kids when they get hooked are at least 7 or 8. Having played spyro in the past, I can say that it is not as bad as some other games out there. In fact it is quite “tame” compared to industry standards.
Honestly I think what you did was the proper course of action, but I do believe that you can divert your little toddler’s actions by perhaps getting him a new game system. I am sure the last thing you want to do is spend money, but this method would have a sort of two tier purpose. On the one hand you look like the “bad guy” for taking away his game, but once he saw the new system he would be simply enamored and think perhaps that is why you took it away. So what do I suggest for a game system?
Nintendo is known for its kid friendly games , you can grab a game cube for cheap now , but if you really wanted to make an impression, and even you and your wife might be able to benefit from this. I suggest getting your hands on the Nintendo Wii, thus far most of the games on it are incredibly kid friendly and they even get you up and moving. Like the others above me have said, ultimately it will remain up to your judgement as to what is a good game and bad game; but you can always aim for something that will have a higher probability of being kid friendly.
Pax Vobiscum,
JackDirt
quadszilla
March 1st, 2007 at 7:24 am
18I remember when I was 5 years old and playing Defender on the atari 2600. I had gotten up to something like 970,000 with more lives than I could possibly burn through. All I wanted to do was hit 1,000,000, but my father pulled the plug to make me do some chore.
I was soooooooo pissed; I still remember it to this day – nearly 25 years later. It sounds like you’re doing a great job of putting the “right” games in front of your kid, I say – let the kid finish. The last thing this world needs is more people that have no follow through and don’t finish what they start.
Nava
March 2nd, 2007 at 4:47 am
19The problem with video games is that they are a lot more addictive than a lot of other things. They are also easier to get along with than other people (or kids), and disconnect us from the world. This is a problem for a lot of adults, and older kids have actually died from malnutrition etc when they got too absorbed. A 4 year old is still building up his perception of the world.
Not to say a kid shouldn’t be allowed down time, but I would second the vote for moderation. Of course it’s fundamentally important to let him enjoy the game, let him finish it – but make sure there’s a time limit or something, to ensure he has time for other interesting (real) things too!
Digital Father
March 3rd, 2007 at 1:25 pm
20Everything in moderation.
I was never a big proponent of the idea that “seeing violence breeds violence”, but then I had kids. Watching my son pick up every item in his world and turn it into a gun helped me to see that maybe I was wrong.
My wife and I ride herd on all his video game playing now, and that’s no easy chore. 90% of the games out there are death and destruction, and 90% of the rest stink. I can’t stomach most of them myself.
AdventureDad
March 5th, 2007 at 7:43 am
21Very interesting topic. My kids are too young for video games but they’ll soon be there. I have nothing against video games but as long as my kids are young I would like the game not to be too violent. I would not let him play a cop-killing game at age 4.
The amount of time played /the obesity/obsession angle depends in my view much on if he does other things as well. Doing nothing but playing video games is not a great idea. But playing after being outside a few hours is fine. I believe having a kid doing a bit of everything is a good idea.
Spending tons of time playing at age 4 might be a little early but it toally depends on the child. Sounds like you have a bright kid who enjoys learning new things. You should be proud of that. Just the fact that youäre thinking and discussing the idea is a great thing.
When I was young I watched almost no TV since there was no cable and no VCR’s. Times are different now but as long as my kids are involved in outdoor activities I have no problem letting them watch a some TV.
Denying a child something usually leads to even more obsession, that might be something to think of.
AD
Fred Meyer
March 15th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
22But yesterday after the fourth straight day of SMOKING CRACK, I pulled the plug on the CRACK. Now I am wondering whether I’ve done the right thing. I’m thinking of giving the CRACK back tonight, because I’m afraid I acted on some unconscious fear that seeped into my mind from media fear mongers. What’s worse is that I told myself I would always let my boys finish what they start, even if it is CRACK. But yesterday it seemed to go too far and I felt I had to end it.
This led me to ask some serious questions about why I yanked the CRACK:
Did I do it because I was afraid? Afraid that allowing him to obsess about CRACK meant I was bad father.
Why is it okay for him to obsess about numbers, letters, reading, books, music, sports, but not CRACK?
Is this some old puritan pleasure/punishment syndrome surfacing from deep in my subconscious? We should only obsess about things that are painful but never things that are fun and pleasurable. Why pleasurable obsessions could lead to a boy becoming a fat, lazy, sex crazed, chronic self-pleaser, and I don’t want that, he could become so blind he wouldn’t notice the hair growing on his palms.
This last question bothers me the most…
Is there a part of me that is afraid he is having too much fun, and I should end the fun, because the boy needs to understand that life isn’t just fun and games? But what else does a 4-year-old have to do? I mean, how difficult should his life be?
I’ve told myself that I haven’t bought into the media hysteria CRACK. I read It’s not the Media and I agree with the author’s thesis. But I believe I still overreacted to my son’s obsession with CRACK. Why? What fear created my overreaction?
Some obsessions are culturally acceptable and some are not… why? Where do these rules originate?
Steve
March 15th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
23Fred,
I was going to delete you comment because I didn’t think it added value, but I changed my mind.
Substitute the word CRACK in your rewrite with anything negative and it will read the same way. Try Cigarettes, Porn, Beer, Guns, Matches, Fireworks.
Then rewrite it with positive objects like books, maps, writing, reading, golf, business, money, exercise, biking, running, gymnatics, martial arts.
You re-write seems clever at first glance, but it isn’t. Most things aren’t as black and white as CRACK.
Dawn Alenius
April 5th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
24I was taking the same view as you at one time. I thought this is my child’s enjoyment and happiness. I felt like “who am I to take away something he finds to be so fun”. Well now I can say I was most likely incorrect. I have since been in many situations where I tell my son that it’s time for homework or bed and I am completely ignorted. The worst part about it is that he looks at me like I’m a terrible person for asking him to shut off the games. The evil looks I get are enough to know that he is angry at me and resents me for expecting him to do anything but play video games
I’m now at the point that I see how the negative side impacts him. He started playing video games at around 5. He was seriously into them by the time he was 7. Now he is 10 and I think it is too late to turn back. Don’t get me wrong, my son is intelligent and gets good grades. He even made it into the state spelling bee this year. However, this is where things start to get ugly.
I bought my son the Nintendo DS when it first came out (the older version with the strange shape to it). For a long time he played with it and everything seemed quite normal. After having the game for about a year he came to me to tell me it was broken. I asked how it broke. He himed and hawed about it and finally told me that he punched it. He apparently became to angry at it that he punched it and broke it. Needless to say that he wasn’t the one that purchasaed the thing for $150 plus tax, nor did he stand in a crazy line at an obscenely early time on Christmas Eve just to get one of the few that were available at the time.
I know this will sound even worse. I have since purchased him the Nintendo DS Lite and within 5 months it is again broken. He did the exact same thing to this one. I have now discoved that his Nintendo Game Cube is also broken due to frustrations at his games taken out on the system. I have since sent in his DS lite for repair. I actually felt bad that he couldn’t play his games anymore. I even felt guilty for not replacing it.
I guess the question now is “what’s wrong with me?” I feel like I’ve become an enabler to a drug addict. This is so sad. I feel like a horrible parent because I should have seen this coming. The worst thing is my child is so gentle and docile. He has never shown aggression in any situation or any type of hostility. These games have brought out something ugly in him. He is now checking outside everyday to see if his system has been shipped back to us from the Nintendo headquarters where it is being repaired. I know it will break his heart but I’m going to have to give it to charity or something. I don’t even know if I should do that since this could cause this same situation for someone else!
If anyone elso has experienced this I would love to read what you have to say about this.
Quentin
April 20th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
25You sound like a reasonable parent. Your at least doing the right thing by worrying about how you treat your kid. That’s thoughtful.
My advice is to wait till when your kid isn’t around and try playing for 15 minutes on one of those games yourself. Just jump in and don’t worry about messing the game up.
If you play the game maybe you’ll get a little closer to understanding what’s happening in your kids mind. You’ll get an inside perspective.
Quentin
April 20th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
26There’s also listening.
Listening with out judgement will get more respect from a child than anything.
Heck, we all love it when some one listens to us.
Asking questions are a beginning.
jo
May 17th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
27i say dont botherr buying a new one, spank the brat and be done with it.
R.K
June 21st, 2007 at 5:06 am
28jo is right, ask the brat to go out and play a real life game, sitting stationary in front of a screen for long hours everyday is not what the human body is designed for. Children need to go out and get exercise and interact with other real people. Replacing quality time with a video game wont do the kid any good!!!.
Ran-Chan
November 10th, 2007 at 11:41 am
29Wow. Thought provoking article. I feel you there, man. I was raised by my dad, my mom ran out on us. And we played video games ALL THE TIME.
To be honest, I was a part of the NES/SNES craze in my youth. Around 5-7 years old, I think… I remember seeing the Super Nintendo on sale in our local store and saying “Dad! I’ve GOT to get THAT!” The fun part was my dad said “You know what? So do I.”
Video games were our family time. My dad LOVED the games as much as my brother and I did. Talking about how to defeat the bosses made communication between us so much easier. When we were confused trying to figure out a dungeon in Zelda, I would draw out maps and mark where the treasure chests were since the maps were seperate screens and it was bothersome to switch between playing and looking at the map. It taught me how to read maps and decern them. Dad would follow my maps and that made me feel proud. When we finally beat Zelda, he said “We did it!” even though he had the controller in his hand. We were active in it then, and we always were.
After I got into high school, I played things with more involving plots – I never liked stuff onpar with GTA, my dad taught me that blood and violence doesn’t always equal fun. Instead, we played adventure games or RPGs, which are just another way of telling a story. :3 We talked about the characters, what we thought was going to happen… it was a very interactive movie, almost. That’s how I see RPGs. A story you can interact with and control the pace of.
My dad would always say stuff like “When you get to a save point, kiddo, you need to do your chores.” He never actually unplugged the console, ever. He’d actually tell me to save it because he knew how hard it was to beat bosses or solve certain puzzles – and it was great. It brought us so much closer because we had that bond.
My dad lost his sight for the most part and can’t play games with my brother and I anymore. Now I’m married to a gamer and pregnant with my first child, I’m going to handle it the way my dad did. There is so much potential in building relationships through gaming, if the parents get involved and encourage children. I wasn’t able to play a one player game like Zelda when my dad had the controller in his hand – but he would say “Draw me a map” or “We were just beaten by that big scorpion… did you notice any weak spot while fighting?” And even my little brother, who was learning to talk would point and grunt to try and help. Dad never neglected us for gaming, he got us involved. And I thank him everyday for it. It made me into the person I am today, still dedicating much of my free time to my gaming. Heck, my husband and I play strategy games together, he asks my opinion all the time and vice versa. My brother and I are always playing stuff, comparing notes and such.
Here’s something interesting: My brother HATED books. We taught him to read with our favorite games that don’t have voices. He wanted to know the plot, he was going to have to learn to read. And it worked. Eventually he picked up books, too, but at first that was challenging.
…But if you treat games as just a babysitter, then of course you won’t understand exactly what’s going on and you’ll question yourself. I say get involved and try to engage yourself in what he’s doing – you might have a lot of fun!
Enjoy. <3
Ran-Chan
xXGamerChixX
November 13th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
30can som1 please helpme like become less adicted to games
iv tryed but i just cant i lovevides game..when i think bout them i get sooo happy and hyper..
xXGamerChixX
November 13th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
31im 2 distrated at school..
McCoy
November 14th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
32Make it an activity, or even a hobby. Like everyone says, don’t let it stop other activities.
What are they gaining from video games?
Imagination. Don’t tell me the outdoors gives the only imagination.
The ability to solve problems from a outer perspective.
Nonlinear thinking.
Small children are extremely influential, and I believe you should monitor but have fun with them.
But as they grow up, just remember -
Video games are a waste of time.
Football is a waste of time.
Cheerleading is a waste of time.
Clubs are a waste of time.
Learning to knit is a waste of time.
But their all hobbies, fields of expertise with rewards for the skilled. You can make more $$$ in competitions as a young adult or adult with gaming second to none but professional sports, an equally hard, and damaging road.
Don’t diss video games, I doubt you could even beat one to the end, you ADD socioentrapped half-wits.
kenzie
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:15 pm
33I LOVE video games just like jan-chan my dad love to play to, and now im in to halo and star wars battle front
kenzie
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:22 pm
34ran-chan sorry!
Prechha Narongthai
December 11th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
35Hi,
Thank you for sharing. I would say i’m today still dedicating much of my free time to my gaming.My husband and I play strategy games together, he asks my opinion all the time and vice versa. My brother and I are always playing stuff
Peach
December 13th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
36I am doing a debate on “are video games too violent?” and i say “yes they are.” any opinion?
Andrew
January 16th, 2008 at 3:10 am
37I believe that you should do some research on the game and think about the benefits and if there are none you should see if you could get him off of spyro
and if that is not a possible get him on a flight simulator atleast he would know how to fly a plane by the time he is ten.
Joe
February 5th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
38I found the authors story quite interesting. I would have to agree with the majority of the comments, in that video games in moderation are not dangerous, The true danger lies in the sad fact that video game consoles are used as electronic babysitters and kids can spend far too much time plugged in to them. I have two nephews, great kids but in my opinion there parents are too permissive with them and not monitoring their activities. They have a Xbox and spend 4 to 5 hours on it a day. When they are told to turn it off the tantrums start so it’s just easier to give in.
my main fear is that, like the author, they will become inactive slugs with the social skills of a mushroom and no moral compass to speak of. Parents must remember that they are the principle influence in their childrens lifes and when something, anything, eclipses that alarm bells should go off.
Nicole
February 29th, 2008 at 2:37 am
39Aloha from Hawaii. I have a 9 year old whom has played video games since he was 2 (grand tourismo) on PSX and played Online MMORPG’s since he was 4 (Pristontale, maplestory, Guildwars, Lunia, Flyff, GO, KongKong, Ect.) we all play video games and online games as a family as well. He owns PSX, gamecube, DS, Gameboy micro. I know you’re thinking we are game freaks but let me explain…him as a human being..
he is incredibly intelligent in all areas (math, reading, writing, art, music ect.) he is also the kindest most compassionate child in school (thats what teachers, counselor, principal) tell me. He does all his homework almost without assistance. He also speaks fluent Japanese. He is a student in a Charter school. His outside activites beside being a little daredevil is track and soccer. He has also taken ballet. He plays outside as much he can and is very healthy and lean. Those things being said these are what playing these games have thought him..
1) he is a very fast and fluent reader (due to playing MMORPGs which requires you to read and type fast or you lose instructions on what to do)
2) he also writes well (im sure his clan members never would guess he is 9 he knows all the details to quests, builds, skills,ect)
3) he is patient ( Korea and japan usually have the open beta versions way advance than global versions so he waits months on end to get what he needs or special chracters he wants to play)
4) team work..in guildwars he goes on mission and gains factions but need a team about 20 to accomplish it. they all must work together or risk failing. He loves to build support characters like healers and monks.
As you can see it isn’t all that bad.
Josh
April 30th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
40Videogames can sometimes provide a learning experience. Although, most videogames that are popular are very violent. What troubles me most is the things that can come up on online games. With headsets that many children use when playing on these games, there are many arguements that involve very bad language and threats. I own a Xbox360 and I have experienced these things. I think that it is unacceptable that parents are letting kids as young as 8 or 9 to play very violent “M” rated games. On the more positive side, I think it is great that children learn to use teamwork on these online games. I am not so worried of the blood and violence in games, but the immature fighting that frequently occurs.
Kansas A
May 3rd, 2008 at 11:25 am
41I just had my SIL’s child show up at my door asking if my son could come play outside. I asked him why he didn’t come in, he stated “because my mom doesn’t want me playing video games.” My blood boiled! This coming from a child’s mother who thinks nothing of sending her kids outside in freezing weather, or plunking them down in front of the tv watching movie videos for hours on end. My son is 6 months younger (4 yo) and has more brains due to his Nintento Wii and Xbox than both her kids! He quickly learned to spell his name because to be able to play, one must enter their name, he can read quite a bit because he has to know what it says to continue the game… am I worried?… not one bit. There’s a “balance” and as long as he WANTS to play outside or WANTS to play his video games I’m fine with that
By “banning” a child, from anything, you create a much worse situation.
seth
May 19th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
42you know i realy need this answered couse i play games alot but i way like 128 lbs and im 16 i think games like ddr and guitar hero and rock bank make you work to burn fats and games like spyro and World of war craft help with math grammer spelling and punctuation and your typing speed now games like grand theft auto those should be avoided dont let your kids play that game. Video games also help give kids an amigination let your kid play he is young and the real world hits at 18 that boy needs to be a kid. Now i dont get what the big fus is about either i play video games 6 hours strieght till i get hungery its no big deal i get nothing but A’s in school only things games dont help with any more is spelling but niether does a dictionary i hate when my perent seas if you dont know how to spell something look it up in the dictionary but in order to look up a word dont you need to know how it is spelled? So i think games are good for you to a degree to much is obssesive to little and you brain wash your kids into a bunch of things that they dont need to know till they reach high school.
seth
May 19th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
43I spelled alot of words wrong and did not use grammer on my last comment becouse I am lazy not becouse im bad at using it.
Sam
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:16 pm
44Steve i think your kid is going so some how be a WIZZ! The ps1 maby shows that he is getting board of his learning. Now i am 15 and i have ps3 now by the sounds of this your a great farther. I wish i was similar to your son. 4 days straight maby a tad to much but HEY look when he realises that what you did was a good thing maby he will turn around and thank you when he is a multi-millionair but until then he is only a kid and man this is our only time to actualy have fun! Let him choose what he wants let him RUN YOU WORLD lol but the most important thing is that you dont force him into something he dosent want to be. I have seen kids in my class like that and boy man they arent happy. so for now let him play make sure he gets to do other things but playing is fun and he is a kid let him be. I know you will make the right choice. =D
Darth Daddy
August 5th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
45If Mozart grew up in our society of video game addiction, would so many generations benefit from his music? Or, would he have been busy playing video games with his time, along with all of his buddies down the street?
NOT having access to video games would naturally force a child to be creative and resourceful with their time. That is, with the right guidance from a good parent. Every moment spent playing video games, is time spent not reading, not drawing, not playing outside, not learning a musical instrument, not being creative, not being artistic, and not socializing with real people. I will call it, “Digital Detachment Syndrome”.
ANYWAYS- very relevant topic for today! I could write a book on this subject, based on my experience from hell. And I mean literally hell. Video games make demons out of my kids, and not just mine, but all children I have observed in my experience.
Well I conclude that the “benefits” of video games do not outweigh the negative aspects. They’re not worth it, and they’re just another, ultimately unproductive distraction we have today. I personally, am not proud of the fact that my children learned to read at ages four, as a result of navigating the on-screen menus in Lego Star Wars.
As a result of finally getting rid of the game console, I will, gosh darnit, have to work harder as a parent. Instead of relying on my digital babysitter, I will now have to be creative and resourceful as a parent. My kids will actually have to play with toys. I will have to spend more time teaching, guiding, and playing with them. They will know what dirt is, and how to play in it! Just like when I was an unfortunate outcast, who grew up without the beloved technology. What a shame.
Bernard Chen
September 11th, 2008 at 6:04 am
46Hey Steve, I actually came upon this page when researching for a persuasive essay for my english II class. I’m a sophomore, and my dad bought me a ps1 when I was in 2nd grade. he also bought me a gameboy color (wow, that long ago) along with Pokemon Silver. At the time I was completely immersed into it, and I admit I was completely addicted. I regret that this happened at such a young age, but it was because I was banned from any games other than Fisher-Price educationals on PC (nothing against them, they are great learning tools). This led to an explosion, and that’s the only way I can describe it. After maybe 6 months my mom took away the gameboy but not the ps1. Not only because I was not obsessed but “possessed,” thinking only of the games and getting to the next town and beating the next boss (what a strange name, now that I think about it).
It was then that I sank into utter rebellion and resentment against my parents for taking away my games, but i must admit at the time I really didn’t think about controlling myself not once, and it was the right choice for my mom.
After selling my ps1 because of moving to another country, I raised the subject again about video games to my mom, and after a night of discussion she agreed to buy a ps2 in 2004 (four years after its release), if I would take violin lessons. to me, it was a fair exchange, but I hated practicing the violin completely, but it was worth it because I could play half an hour on saturdays and sundays. the point of learning the violin was to that my parents could get me to do something other than games, which worked. my mind was kept off video games for the most part, and now I still follow that standard, except I can play longer and I don’t take lessons anymore because my mom thought I was already good enough to play the violin without lessons, which is kind of true.
My point is, banning your child won’t do any good, and it’ll just make your child put as much of his life into it whenever the chance arises, which is worse than letting him play regularly with moderation.
Like keeping air in a balloon. parents closing the opening and putting more pressure into the child will only make them explode and destroy your child. or, when you get tired you put your mouth away from the opening, air comes out so quick and so much that you have to limit your child from playing again by putting air in again. It’s better to let some pressure out by allowing your child to play games once in a while, after doing something productive in the “outside world.” that way your child can stay saturated with your guidance and won’t become resentful and explode in rebellion, which I did.
summing up, don’t make him stop playing, just remember to keep track of his games and play time, and maybe talk and explain to your child about the negative implications of playing games, and help them to understand why you’re doing what you’re doing.
and always remember that he’s just a kid, and there’s still 14 more years to teach him and guide him. take your time and learn from your mistakes.
Breanna
October 30th, 2008 at 8:39 am
47Wow.
That is weird with the whole writing the words in the dicitary thing.
but cool that he wants to learn
im 13 i HATE learning i am in school. right now. i am reaserching if video games are bad for kids,, do you think so?
kayla
November 4th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
48Get him a wii… they can be active.. or leap frog stuff. my nephew is six now and he plays video games a lot but he is also active and doing great in school.
kayla
November 4th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
49ps. video games can be good. if a child plays a good puzzle game or math game or etc it makes learning fun. yes playing video games 24/7 is bad. but spending some time NOT outside and not drawing isnt going to hurt one bit. i grew up playing video games. I am not expressive because i play video games. go with what you feel is right. video games are what is a big part of our culture.
Michael
November 10th, 2008 at 9:05 am
50Reading your comments makes me think of my childhood. i just wanted to add that i dont feel that video games are as bad as people want to make them. i feel you have done the right thing, knowing that this is a year after the fact, and you will keep doing it.
i was a very distructive kid. i was always in trouble with the police and anyone with athority. but i dont blame the video games. to be very blunt about it, it was my mothers fault.
she was a single mother with two teenage boys who thought they knew the way the world worked. (boy were we wrong) it really wasnt her fault, because i know that she tried as hard as she could, working two jobs and trying to always be at our events. but she couldnt be around all the time.
anyway back on track, from the age of six video games have always been a passion of mine. from my first one Socates in 88′ to my 360 and PS3 now, i have always had one or more. i never realized or wanted to believe the hold they had on me… until i read your post this morning. but over the past years i have decided to do something creative with my passion. im now pursuing a career in IT with a BA in Networking and an AAS in Computer Information Systems. Video games have always been a part of my life and they always will be; i just wish i had the parenting that you are giving your child. kudos to you and any parten that is willing to spend some time with their child.
good luck with life and i will check back often for new topics.
Austin
November 18th, 2008 at 11:10 am
51I’m a big gamer from my childhood days. At the age of 17 now, I have been growen up on video games since the age of 5 with the Sega. Me and my dad played it at a young age. He soon stop playing it and left it to me. Growing up on Playstation One was pretty good with games like Final Fanasty Seven which open up the world of Anime and Magma (Anime is Japanese cartoons and Magma are Japanese cartoon books which are written very differently from any other book I have seen). When I got the PC around the age of Eight I look at a store and found a lot of computer games. I found a game called Command & Conquer.
I got hocked on strategy games which made me use my mind very far to figure out hard stiuations in the game. I also like Roll Playing Games which I play a lot of also.
I may of been left alone to play my games but I mostly learn a lot of stuff on the Online games like Battlefield Two which I have been in a clan which we now create movies for others to see and I had to learn some swedish since a lot are Swedish but they all speak perfect English. The clan has a website: http://www.snoken.net . I have learn about a lot of Computer Skills and some on Computer Programming. I fixed my Spelling and Grammar online with talking to others on Xfire and MSN. Right now I may be on the Computer a lot but I have earn respect with it. I’m a Gobal Moderator for a pretty big Gaming website called http://www.ijji.com for Solider Front and make movies on BF2 and BF2: 2142.
I have gain a big interest in the military though gaming and been in MCJROTC (Marine Corps Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps.) and been going to military schools since 6th grade. In MCJROTC I have reach the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and Going to go to college and study Computer Science while in the Marine Reserve or ROTC. I have been left alone as a kid to play my games but grown into what I am today mostly on my own sadly. I hope to move on to the Army or Marine Corps as a Infantry Officer but don’t know if i’ll move into Computer Programmer.
Video games are not destructive as may think becuase all everyone hears about is Grand Thief Auto games and other violent games.
So are Video Games bad and shoulden’t be allow for kids?
I must say No.
There are woser things out in this world. Just check the Public Schools and see what happens in it halls.
jeff
November 21st, 2008 at 2:05 am
52I believe that if you let your kid(s) play video games, then you should at least get the experience in what they play. You should try it out before you let them play the certain games. You should also check the esrb rating, it helps a lot).
Video games help with hand eye coordination. As a lot of people have said, it does bring togetherness when you play videogames with the kids, but then you do have to make sure that they dont doe anything wrong with the games. You will have to remind them that anything they do in a video game, they cannot do in real life.
I was raised to play video games. I once tried to do some fighting moves from one of my games and i ended up hurting my hand, and my mother said, “you see what happens when you do stupid sh*t. Now do you see why you cant do what yousee in your video games.” And to this day, i say game on kids, just remember its only MAKE BELIESE and not REAL.
Simple Meditation
November 21st, 2008 at 11:06 pm
53Excellent content and style…keep up the good work!
Henna
November 26th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
54Wow that is a sad story. I don’t think it’s your fault because as a parent you should have to set rules and make sure that your child is getting enough education for his/her future.
kari
January 13th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
55Hey,
I totally relate to you!! i have a 6 year old son, who recently got hooked on Nintendo DS after I let him bring it on a 22 hour long drive across the country. By the time we reached our destination, he could not put it down, a constant battle. This game, a Pokemon one, was not offering much for him – he was mostly running around chasing things. I had always preferred the educational games and handhelds for him, as he never got ‘addicted’ to those to the point that he couldn’t put it down when I would call him to help with preparing dinner, help fold laundry etc. But with this ‘non-educational’ game – I felt he was beginning to lose his social skills. So I tried the ‘moderation method’ – we’d only keep the handheld game in the car so he could play all he wanted when we were driving around during errands etc. Well – then he started constantly asking when we were going to do errands. Then, when the car ride was a short one, he would beg to bring the game in the store to play while I shop…I’d eventually cave in (sometimes partly my own addiction because it made shopping a breeze) And sometimes, I’d bend the rules and let him bring the game inside the house, for special occassions, like when I have company over and want to ensure that I can focus on the guests and not worry about keeping him entertained.
Well – I began to feel like this game was too easy of a babysitter. He was losing his social skills. A few times, some of the neighborhood kids would come over to play with him. For awhile they’d have fun upstairs, dancing to music, playing hide and seek etc – but after awhile, the neighborhood kids (not my son) would start to come downstairs to where I was in the kitchen – washing dishes or whatever – and they were actually ending up wanting to hang out with me, tell me about their day etc. Then I’d ask them, ‘Where’s Kohan?” and they’d say He’s playing his DS upstairs and wouldn’t let us play because he didn’t want us to mess up his score. This was a big warning light – a flashing red light that said in the back of my mind – this game has got to go. But how could I blame the game? It was ultimately up to me to teach him to be a good friend and not ignore his friends. So I let the game stay, and spent a lot of time over the next while explaining that this game is not supposed to make it’s way to his room, it’s going back to just playing it in the car…etc
But that didn’t last – constant battle, constant begging. something he never did with the educational ones that actually make him think, use his brain – so he would naturally get tired after 30-45 minutes or so.
I noticed our relationship and his respect for me shifting to his respect for his game. When I’d ask him to help me prepare supper – that wasn’t so fun for him anymore…he wasn’t saying ‘SURE
!!’ like he used to. He was saying “after I finish this level, ok?” with his eyes glued to the screen. So I would try to command respect “Look at people in the eyes, it is rude” etc “But I don’t want to mess up my score”
One final day, I just had it, when he had repeatedly asked for about 2 hours of me asking him to turn it off, and he’d ask for 10 more minutes, I trusted him, he didn’t make the choice to stop the game, even though I gave him the extra time to save his level. So I snapped the thing in half and told him that bad things come to bad behaviours and people who break their word. This game was not bringing anything to our relationship and I didn’t even want to give it to charity because I don’t wish it upon any other child/parent.
Afterward, I felt kind of guilty – perhaps I shouldn’t break other people’s belongings – was I being too controlling?
When I told my other half that night – he actually congratulated me and said it was about time that i started to ‘be the parent’ and take it away.
I am happy to report that my son has been completely fine with having lost his DS. He was sad for 3 days – but I made it clear to him that it is my job as a parent to help him control that feeling of ‘addiction’ so that he can tame it the rest of his life, and this is one way that he can begin to learn. That ‘addicted feeling’ he was getting – was when he would whine if he didn’t get it, beg for more, pout or sulk to bring it in the house, ignore his friends when they were over, lose excitement for other things like playing boardgames, detached from former enjoyments like preparing dinner together.
I feel this was a major milestone for us, and I am glad that I was able to put an end to this at a young age, in the future, I hope that he will learn from this. As adults, we can all have things like this that take more out of us than give back – perhaps it’s constantly being on blackberry, surfing net, watching tv etc. Or perhaps it is ‘being at work’ so that you don’t really live as much with our 5 sense, see beautiful things, interact, feel, touch, taste, smell, stretch.
With that being said, I am definitely not anti-video games. I am a huge fan of the LeapFrog products, the Didj, The Leapster, Vtech handheld games.
They teach him a lot of things. But at the end of the day – when my son is grown up and in college – do I want to look back and say to myself – I remember how often we used to play board games, how he learned math and strategy, how he learned to play by the rules, how to congratulate the winner, how to say ‘Good try’ to the losers…how to help clean up the game afterwards etc. I suppose there are a lot of good memories that can be made with 2 player videogames. But if there is a lot of risk involved – for the chance of these ‘good memories’ I think I’d rather place my bets on board games, and other family activities which have a very probable chance of the rewards, without the risk of the videogames.
Good luck to all the parents out there, with whatever parenting technique you use! We are all in this together, with different parenting styles, different upbringings of our own. The main thing is, we all do our best, we love our children and care to be involved- and that is what our children remember in the end.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2009 at 11:54 am
56I am an anonymous twelve-year-old. I have skipped a grade, and I acomplished three years of math last year, and I scored a 22 on the ACT. Hey, I’m addicted as @#$#%$# to video games. I’m a bit overweight but not obese! And look, the ones I play do involve killing. You raise some good points man. I came on here because my Dad says I can only play like an hur a day, and my mom said to look up negative consequences of them. I went ahead and responded because I thought your sight could use some feedback from moderate-hardcore gamers. Thank you for reading this.
Ricci Gogerty
January 23rd, 2009 at 11:27 am
57Hi well im 18 i play alot of video games not all the time because im also in a band and studying art and history I often go to gaming competitions to win money and for a challenge but enough about me gaming necisarilly isnt a bad thing I will admit I was playing violent games at the age of at least 11 but I personally have had no problem distinguishing a game and reality BUT if kids are not set certain times they can play games like 3 hours or less a day the kids my become addicted leading to them not making friends then eventually bieng bullied and then using games as an escape from reality and then thats when the stuff in the news about video games driving people to kill comes in so essentially video games are in certain ways a bad thing no doubt but as long as they are rationed nothing bad will happen just make sure more than anything you check what games they are playing.
Mrs Smith
March 5th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
58My 3 year old boy has been exposed to video games since he was pretty much born. Now all he wants is to play video games and throws a tantrum whenever he doesn’t get to play it. He would cry and cry and cry until he’s almost running out of breath. He only likes to play fighting games and race cars because that what he’s been exposed to all he’s three years of life. It’s starting to worry me and I have accused of he’s father of torturing he’s little mind with the video games. Maybe he doesn’t do it on purpose but because of the fact that that’s all he’s exposed him to I blame him for my baby’s action. My son used to play with learning games and actually learned he’s ABC’s even before he turned two, but now he’s lost his interest in learning games because of the fighting video games and stuff that he plays every day and it’s really hard for me to keep him away from it because he’s dad plays with them every single day. Now my question is, is this considered child abuse or some sort of abuse? My son is turning three in a couple of weeks and already very addicted to video games and his father doesn’t seem to think there’s something wrong with that. Please share your thoughts with me.
Dont Give In
March 27th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
59Don’t give the game back!
I know its been a couple years since you made the decision but I want to know what you ended up doing?
Steve
March 27th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
60@Don’t Give In
He got the game console back a month or so later. I’ve taken it away few other times since. But now things seem to be much better. He does a lot of reading and physical activity, so I don’t worry about it so much.
gand theft auto the game
April 16th, 2009 at 8:02 am
61What is the point of a game were you don’t kill things.
Barrett
May 24th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
62This article is very well thought out and brings to my mind many things probably because I can very well relate to this since I myself am a avid gamer. I have my parents who i actually gave them reasons why i play the games i do and they understand it well lucky for since i was born into a family of teachers and very well think like one. Games can be like a double edged sword while it may save your life it also may steal point meant is that games can like many others have stated give the ones playing a stress reliever especially for me with upcoming exams. Games can give you ideas on how you work out a project something in everyday life and games may make you focus better. However games can also have the negative affects if played to much for example i know some … well most of my peers on average play games till 3:00 am at night and go to school everyday with the limited sleep they get every single day which personally is umbelieveable since i have never actually made it past 12 which I may only do once in a blue moon if not less. Games can rob you of your life and stop you from actually getting around to taking care of your pet or taking out the garbage. So i conclude by saying Video Games are both bad and good but many things are like that and mustn’t be forgotten because in my opinion video games are less bad then TV.
Anthony
June 9th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
63Hello, this response may be a little late, but as long as video games are still alive and kicking it is probably still relevant to you…
I’ve, at one point, seen myself as a hardcore gamer. I’ve played a variety of different games and I would play them for hours at a time. It always seemed like a bad habit, but I would always think to myself: “It’s better than doing drugs, being an alcoholic, or putting a heightened risk on my life with other hobbies.” And that’s all games are– just hobbies. Most of the basic hobbies are just, in the grand scheme of things, useless pastimes.
In our lives the only real goal I believe we all should strive for is basically just staying alive… And to do that you will need food and shelter, and the best way to acquire those things is to have a steady source of income. So before anyone reading this comment thinks I’m mad I’ll just get to the point. As long as you have a reliable source of income to support yourself now and in the future filling up the empty time with video games should not be a problem unless it gets in the way of the previously stated goal– which is to just survive.
So get a job, keep your body healthy and play all the damn games you want. You only live once.
Robin
October 17th, 2009 at 11:54 am
64Hey steve,
I am actually a child, but I came across your post. I play quite a few video games, and recently I turned 13. I got a computer that costs 2 grand so that I could keep up with my gaming needs….. It is kind of scary, now that I think of it.
And one thing about video games is that they are expensive, late 2009 autumn (basically, now) a LOT, i mean a LOT of really big, huge highly anticipated games are coming out/or have already came out. These names might not mean much, but here are some examples: Dargonage:Origins, Modern Warfare 2, Borderlands, Diablo III, and many more. That there, is about $200 worth of video games. I personally, wouldn’t mind owning a copy of all of those
But although I have this video gaming problem, I have something many kids don’t; control. I have priorities. I do homework first, I hang out with friends. ect. I don’t think it’s a problem if your child is addicted to video games, but if he doesn’t have a *life* then you need to help him. It is amazing how many kids I know that when you go to their houses all they want to do is play Halo 3 with you because they know no other way to entertain themselves and and guests.
I wish you luck and hope you find a solution to your problem. Personally if I ever had a child I would NEVER encourage videogaming, but 10-20 years from now how will the situation be? I fear that children will be giant, videogame-playing T.V-watching freaks……… ugh it gives me the shivers….
Good Luck!
Robin
archie
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:11 am
65I’m 11. recently iv been having a few arguments with my school mates about violent video games being worse than normal video games..
i am on the side were violent video games are worse. it annoys me because everything tells me that the violent games are worse. i think it is true. All games are bad but violent games are worse.
Emirick Haro
November 5th, 2009 at 10:25 am
66Very interesting points, Steve. I actually came across your post because I’m trying to figure out if I’m doing the right thing for my own children. We have a house rule: No video games Mon-Thurs. They focus on homework and reading and playing outside and practicing the piano. They’ve got a lot to do during the week, so video games are reserved for the weekends. (And I’ve found they actually play with each other and talk more when games are out of the picture.)
They’ve done fine with this rule, but recently my 5 year old son is feeling the peer pressure since all of his little friends game whenever they want. He gets a little jealous, I guess. I’ve explained to him why we have the rule and what experts claim video games do to brains of little boys like him. He’s fine with that, but I know he still wishes he could do what his friends do. I’m torn. Am I an overcontrolling mother? Will this have some sort of negative backlash later on? Am I creating opportunities for him to learn other skills that a video game obsession would have robbed from him? Am I teaching him moderation and self-control, or am I setting him up for a wild, uncontrolled future when mommy is out of the picture?
Parenting is soooo hard!
wishlist
November 18th, 2009 at 11:29 am
67those were very good questions steve. i’m seventeen and have been playing video games almost my entire life. i am about to graduate from high school and have already aced the test that you take for the army. i have expierenced both the negative and positive results. i stand with Ran-chan. my father never played video games with me. infact he resents them. you need to get involved with your son. make it fun for him. you may find it a great bonding expierence. and spiro is a great game for him to be playing. thank you steve for putting these questions out for everybody to read.
TheMan332
December 17th, 2009 at 11:18 am
68Ok i am 13 and i remember playing spyro. Like you said when your son found something he stuck to it. Spyro was a fun game for me when i was little and i think he is only in a stage where he will play that, he will get over it. Also i think spyro is very imaginative game i mean your a dragon that goes roundon quests collecting objects like jems to complete your task however if he played something like grand theft auto that might be a little violent, but i think people who say video games are bad i disagree violent video games are a scapegoat for bad parenting because i play call of duty (First person shooter) but i dont feel the need to kill somone.
I just want to say i think you might have overreacted. Hes four years old and he isnt going to go off the wall and ruin his life for playing spyro like i said its a stage and he will get over it
Jack Kinsella
December 28th, 2009 at 5:46 am
69There is growing evidence that video games increase IQ significantly, contrary to the media myths.
Personal experience first pushed me to research the topic. During my years at Oxford I noted that Oxfords top undergraduate physicist (out of 100s of Europe’s best) and Oxfords top philosophy undergraduate were both world class video game players.
I began to see a pattern so I researched the topic further. I came across Steven Johnson, author of the controversial “Everything Bad Is Good for You: How Today’s Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter.”
Johnson argues, convincingly, that video games force players to make decisions, choose, and prioritize. Players must simultaneously track dozens and dozens of shifting variables, trying to manage an entire system. Johnson’s thesis is that these skills are transferable to nearly any domain – from my experiences as an avid gamer, and someone very aware of his own thought processes, I think he is right.
Lauren
April 19th, 2010 at 10:51 am
70Steve,
I think what you wrote is right on. I have a 3 1/2 year old boy who is “addicted” as my other mommy friends like to put it to the Wii. It made me feel like a bad parent. Then I stopped & asked myself what is so bad about playing the Wii/Wii Fit. Lets see, he is using coordination & balance to get a ball into a hole while trying to keep another ball on the table. I would call this multi-tasking. Using two parts of his brain at once. Or he is doing step areobics trying to follow the pattern of the feet that appears on the screen. Or he is playing golf & using termanology like “bunker” or “par” to tell me about his game. He is actually excited to go play the real game soon.
By the way, he also uses our computer to play “games”. Yes, i know we are horrible parents. He knows how to use a mouse, go to the bookmarks, find his folder & choose his website. An example of the “game” he is playing requires him to build a path using a pattern of colors. He has mastered this & many other games that require problem solving.
Yes, he still goes outide to play. Yes, we still read to him every night, as we have done since he was 6 months old. Do we give him a Big Mac & a bag of chips to go along with his Wii or computer? No. he has always had a healthy diet.
I do agree that “screen time” needs to be in moderation and balanced with physical activity and here’s why. If you take your child to the park, you probably don’t stay for 5 hours or 4 hours or even 3 hours because you can see that they are physically exhausted after probably 2 hours. I believe the same holds true for playing games only the signs of being mentally exhausted aren’t as apparent. So I try to limit it in the same way that i would limit any physical activity. They need time to decompress and absorb what they have just done.
That is my 2 cents.
Lauren
Terri Lynn
April 19th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
71This is an old thread, so don’t know if anyone still reading. I came across it while researching for a book I am writing. Now that is is 2010, may I add a few notes? We all want our kids to be able to enjoy video games “in moderation”. As a parent of a 6 year old, I do too. I have to say, I have not succumbed to the Wii and hope I don’t feel compelled to. I am a 20 year veteran of the IT world myself, including successfully climbing the surreal corporate ladder to VP level. No easy feat especially for a female. But, I have seen firsthand how utterly addicting eclectronics can be to any of us, why proliferate such unhealthy addition to young kids? The educational video in this article seems ok…..in moderation. But certainly I am opposed to any violent games, incluing “World of Warcraft” by Wii and other such games to pollute the minds, body and soul of our children. I personally don’t feel the “fear mongering” are those that pushback on all these electronics. They are voices of reason. The “fear mongering” seems to be more the people claiming if we don’t keep up with the Jones, don’t have that next sexier ipad, ipod, Wii, or cell phone that burps and farts, you just are not cool man. As an early Internet adopter myself, (I had a cell phone in 1983), I have gone opposite route and try to reduce my footprint of e-waste on Spaceship earth where everthing is going too commerical, too robotic, a virtual world with an unreal remove form reality. It’s in direct relation to health decline (obesity, ADHD, cancer, asthma) as in order to keep up with all this crap, we instal more industrial plants emitting more waste into our food, water, soil. Media Hype? thats what the swine flu was…….who is the alarmnist? the parent flocking to lines for a vaccine so big pharma makes the profits, or the person that researched further and realizes in the end it was all hype, kids used as guinea pigs for profit off some unreal pig to man disease that really never was a scare to begin with? I did not succumb to the swine flu shot, my child has one video console (a Leap Frog leapster with all educational games), plays outdoors all the time in nature, and is doing fabulous in school and life. I am not saying I am perfect, nobody is. But how do we judge “moderation” If a child goes to school 8:30-2:40 then plays video games for two-three hours a day after, that to me is obession to point of regression. Not to mention health effects…..research how Europe is way ahead of U.S. on EMF’s……Telecom act of 96 much to blame for that. Many video games emit unecessary RF waves (if wireless tech driven into consoles) But in the states where research paid for by industry & protecting corporate greed not the citizen, people believe “no conclusive evidence”
Christine
April 29th, 2010 at 6:11 pm
72I think its ridiculous how parents are “shunning” their children form video games. I use to work at a video game store and had MANY IGNORANT parents come in, talk on their cell phone while their 6 year old kids grab Grand Theft Auto or Call of duty and hand it to me. While their parents hand me the money I had ALWAYS told them, “did you know this game has blood, gore, massive amounts of violence etc.?” and they would get so frustrated at their kids for thinking that they could get away with buying the game. Then the parents would go on trying to tell me that we should not sell violent video games and such. NO, YOU PARENTS NEED TO EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN RATHER THAN BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE! America has grown so LAZY when it comes to raising their children.
Cockmaster
May 19th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
73I think Video games rock! parents are stupid! I got grounded for playing video games just for 4 minutes! wtf?!…anyways..I think video games aren’t bad. They help with hand cordination.
Emirick Haro
May 28th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
74Thank you, Cockmaster, for reaffirming my stand on video games.
HL
June 1st, 2010 at 6:50 am
75Nice article, but i think I’m okay with being called an over-reacting parent. I’m a believer in all things in moderation, balance being the key; however, my bright and engaging 7 year old boy went to his first summer camp — and it turned out to be a room full of boys playing handheld video games. When the 2 weeks of camp were over, I didn’t recoginize my son anymore: he stopped making eye contact, he stopped saying hello and goodbye and he stopped talking to me completely except to say “Can I play my video game” — it was the first thing he said in the morning (like at 7 am) and the last thing he said at night. He stopped doing his homework or showing interest in it, and to my greatest dismay, lost interest in taking pride in his work. He was a totally different boy and any hyperactivity and distraction that he had before had doubled.
So, how do you balance when all you child’s friends have little to no limits?!! These kids are giving giant screen TVs and violent video games by age 7. There are way too many parents using video games as babysitters, without regard or responsiblity or even the knowledge of what kind of effect it’s having on the child. Like it or not, gaming is a form of addiction and the younger children of today are being exposed to a level of addiction in a way that I don’t think children ever have been. At least with TV, children are not ACTIVELY participating in “killing” and being physiologically rewarded for it.
Please give me back the “too much TV” syndrome — THAT was easy!
I just wonder with the average child’s screen time in front of video games, TV, computer monitors and cellphones — will these kids know how to have a conversation? Read a book? Maybe in a few generations from now, kids will actually have a metal plate they attach to their face as they become one with electronics. Who the heck needs actual human relationships?
As a woman, i personally think that any guy who is a “gamer” is about as unattractive as a grown man living with his mother eating tuna fish out of the can. It’s only a matter of a few years before self-help books appear on the shelves titled “Men Obsessed With Gaming and The Women Who Love Them.”
And one more thing: has it ever occurred to anyone that information about your child’s computer game use — and I’m talking specifically teenage boys who play war games like Modern Warfare could be sold to the gov’t? Anyone selling something always needs to find and solicit their target market group. And last I checked, war as a business isn’t going away anytime soon in this country. In fact, it’s the United States biggest business.
“Great for hand-eye coordination” and “helps burn calories” are two of the dumbest reasons to justify over-use of video games — sounds like denial.
Jan
June 11th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
76I was writing my blog for this week on how video games might or might not affect kids and stumbled on your site. I am a retired teacher, now substituting, and found an experience I had last week disquieting. Third graders in a Seattle school were writing their autobiographies. Boys, particularly, could not come up with anything for the day’ subject – What am I most proud of doing in my life?” All they could think of was video games. Something some of them do in every possible moment. When video game play takes over everything else that kids could be doing I start to worry. What I think we worry about is addiction to gaming. I think the idea of giving them certain times during the day and certain amonts of time, offset by other activites, both physical and mental, helps
relieve that worry. Lots of good conversation and direction with involved adults also is helpful. Read my blog on Sunday for more info on this topic. http://www.teacherslogon.blogspot.com).
diana hampo
August 14th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
77I’ve never let my kids(there are 4) have video games but they play at friends houses. I worry about the same stuff all the time. Will they get fat, will they be unable to ask a girl for a date. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I’ve linked your post on my blog http://www.hampoland.com
Thanks again, Diana
Karf
September 28th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
78My god, if only oyou knew what I have to live trhough…
I am 14 years old, and, well, I like videogames. BUT im not addicted to them. I only use them when I have free time. But my god. I have a cousin… WOW… Its like its his world. He plays video games for HOURS… once, I went to his house, and I was going to stay there for 5 hours. By the time I had only 2 hours left, I was already playing with his little 6 year old sister outside, while he was inside with his Nintendo DS. And then I came inside, and asked him what he was doing. He didnt answer. I asked him again. Then he looks up, amazed, and says ” Oh, playing spore”, and turns to play again. Since that day on, I do not want to go there again.
And i had this other cousin: He was 16 years old, and he was playing games for around 8-11 hours… STRAIGHT… What happened? One day( or better said, night) he started shacking while he was playing a game. These where those symptoms( the once where you do unwoluntary movementes) and after 1 minute, he fell to the floor, shacking like hell! They took him to the hospital, etc etc…
So kids( well, im a kid, but anywasy) DONT GET ADDICTED TO VIDEO GAMES. THEY ARENT BAD, BUT TO MUCH, CAN LEAD TO DISASTER.
Just do what I do.
If I play more than one hour( usually I play one hour and half, when i can) and take a break from 10-20 minutes each hour.
MULTIPLAYER GAMES:
This are the worst… They just want you to play more and more, so these, avoid them.
And thats all I have to say today…
Oh, and there are good games out there, and for me, the best one is LittleBigPlanet. Very fun, for all ages, and puzzles, logic, etc.
You can get for PS3, and PSP( have it for both, and my PSN is megachevpro for anyone to know, just in case)
Karf
September 28th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
79OH, I forgot to mention something else:
ALWAYS CHECK THE ESRB RATING FOR GAMES.
If you want to know how one of my cousins got so addicted, is becouse of that; One day, they where in el paso( i was with them), and my 12 year old cousin saw halo someting( i think), and he wanted it so bad. His parents didnt know what E, T, M, etc. ment, but anyways, they said NO. What did he do? he started to cry. To scream. To run around like a crazy kid. THen the cops came, and asked for the problem. His paretns told the cop, and they started laughing, and went away. Then they go the game, and went home. One week later, he comes to school, almost falling down.
You want to know what happened? he played so much video games, he BROKE HIS BRAND NEW XBOX 360… And so he led his life through video games.
I also agree that they do make you not want to converse with other people. An example? My cousin( yep, he has A LOT of problems. LOTS OF THEM).
When he started liking a girl, he just wanted her to be his girlfriend. SO, one day he plucked up the courage to ask her. And you should have seen how he asked her. Let me try to reapeat it:
Cousin: “Ummm… So…. Would you like to b-be my…………………………………….G-G-G-Girlfriend?
Girl:” HMMMM…. i will think about it.
The next day, she had said yes. After around 2 months, she went to his house. And oh boy, what did my cousin do all the time? VIDEOGAMES…
So, she broke up with him, and he cried, like a baby… But maybe its different there in the US, but here in canada…. WOW
jimmy
March 23rd, 2011 at 4:53 am
80hey steve
About your topic i believe that you should let you kid play the game untill you start to c some bad behavior in him. if the game has violence in it then c how he start to act in like 3 weeks if he starts asking for guns and stuff like that thats when you know tio take away the game and unplug it.. But if he is playing some sword game then he shouldent go to crazy. Like my son started playing “Call of Duty” and that game is pretty cool and there are alot of guns and stuff on it but its at a resonable level to ware kids can play it. But the main problem is that everything he does in the game he wants to do in real life. So thats when i took the big step and finaly pulled the plug cause he started wanting guns and knifes and wanting to do the things in the game. So i just want to say is only pull the plug if they are wanting to do things in the game and they start to change their acts and and their language. Also if they are starting to want weapons.
Susan
April 22nd, 2011 at 6:35 am
81Sorry, but FOUR years old? There are too many other BETTER things to do: How about drawing instead, I mean real drawing, with pencils and paper? How about making his own cartoon characters, with REAL playdough? Or climbing a tree, buidling a snowman or sandcastle, making a penne/rigatoni necklace and painting it? Washing the dog? Building with Lego? Following a recipe and baking something to bring over to the neighbors? Making a paper mache volcano and watching it erupt? Starting a bug collection? Going to the museum? Maybe dance class, or gymnastics? Soccer or swimming lessons? Yes, these things involve an active parent, but so what? That’s what we are – parents! Too many of us these days got used to having no responsibilities until we married late and had kids…and we miss our free time to read the paper and have a coffee without being disturbed. But getting that back by handing a DS to a 4 year old seems like a wrong turn at the fork…
Matthew Slade
May 20th, 2011 at 7:29 pm
82Hey, don’t worry i speak from experience games will not ruin a person. One of the most infuriating this to me is that the media says violent games cause aggression. I LIVE ON THEM (and Little Big Planet but thats really the only exception, oh and Portal) AND I HAVE ALMOST NO AGGRESSION. In fact the only time I ever really get mad is with my parents when they yell at me because they think I play them to much MAN IT DRIVES YOU INSANE WHEN THEY MAKE YOU STOP WHEN THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO BUT WATCH THE CARPET!!! In school I am really never mad at people, when they make fun of them I just tell them “Its nice to see you too, and its also nice to see the dean sitting right over there, you wanna go have a chat?” I think that people are more disturbed by the almost limitless bank of science facts in my brain than the obsession for Sci – fi video games that drove me to research almost every scientific field known to man. As my final testimony to the wholesomeness and non destructiveness of video games, I hold one of the highest GPAs in my class.
Jessica
August 25th, 2011 at 2:19 pm
83These are great topics,
I have been on the fence with video games, verse sports, reading, writing etc. with my 9 year old as well.The difference that concerns me is my son has no motivation for anything else which frustrates me and I feel like I’m punishing him when I have him read or play outside because he hates it.As a single mother raising a boy is a constant battle, and activities become stressful and expensive when they want nothing to do with them.I myself am not into video games or TV, so I can’t relate and I see children literally walking into walls with the dam DS, however I bought one for my son then gave him limits on it.I guess my questions are where will my son reap more benefits, for life and are games offering a false sense of reward.I don’t even know if he is good at them he just plays for hours till I pull the plug, and also get emotional if he looses.Considering his dad is not around the feedback from other fathers is very valuable to me.
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