5 Simple Ways to Build Self Confidence

Guest Post by Matt Maresca

Having self confidence is one of the biggest keys to your success. If you do not believe in yourself, it is difficult to accomplish any worthwhile mission. Further, if you do not exude a sense of confidence, other people will not have confidence in you. Below you will find five tips for building self confidence. Don’t just think about these tips, give them a try. Allow them to work for you!

1. Start Each Day with a Smile

Don’t ignore this tip because it sounds cheesy. Smiling has a special way of making you feel good about yourself and your life. When you smile, you are accentuating the positive; you are exuding happiness and contentment.

But don’t just smile; think of a reason to smile. You are alive. You are about to start another day. This could be a very special day. A new day means new opportunities. And this means new ways to make yourself happy and get closer to your ultimate goals.

So tomorrow morning, when you wake up, think of all you have in life and smile warmly. Beginning the day on a positive note will set the tone for you to do great things.

2. Dump Your Doubts on Paper

We all have doubts. We all have worries. Some of us just tend to let these things stew in our minds more than others. Don’t let these doubts eat away at you throughout the day. Get them out on paper in the morning. Write out all your doubts, and just keep writing all your thoughts. Don’t even think about what you are doing. A lot of your doubts are subconscious. Simply start your writing with, “I have doubts about myself. They are…” and just keep writing until you are done.

Many times, you’ll find that as you are writing you will discover that a lot of your doubts seem silly. Sometimes you’ll begin to subconsciously start thinking about your strengths. This is because your strengths may lie below your doubts in your brain’s hierarchy right now. Once you dump your doubts from your brain, you will find out what actually you like about yourself.

3. Do Something You Love to Do

It’s no secret that we tend to do best at the things we love to do. This is because we can really put our heart and spirit into it. Take some time out today and do something you really love doing. Immerse yourself in the moment and let go of all your doubts. Have some fun and loosen up. What happens when you do something you really love is you don’t worry about not doing it well. You just focus on having a good time.

Once you’ve done this, take this feeling into other areas of your life. Life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about giving the most of yourself to each moment. Remember the good feelings and let them stream throughout your day.

4. Make a List of Everything You’re Good At

I know you’re good at some things. We all are. This is because we all have special talents and unique skillets. Just because you can’t throw a baseball 90mph or solve quantum physics problems doesn’t mean you aren’t gifted. Even if your special talents aren’t readily apparent to the layperson, this doesn’t mean they aren’t important.

Your talents are important because they are unique to you. Once you’ve discovered your special talents, it is up to you to do something special and meaningful with them.

So make a great list of everything you are good at. No matter how small your talent or skill may be, write it down. You may surprise yourself just how much you have to offer.

5. Face One of Your Biggest Fears

As I like to say, nervousness is often just your brain’s way of telling you that your fears will feel great to conquer. You are nervous because you care. Since you care, you will feel good to have accomplished the feat. Your fears will go away once you face them.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said you should “do one thing everyday that scares you”. Once you have done this thing, you will have conquered a new fear. You will grow your comfort zone. You will gain confidence in your ability to do this thing. You will grow your confidence in your ability to face your fears. Do this on a regular basis and the things that used to scare you will give you some of your happiest moments. You will be stronger and wiser.

The key is to be consistent. At first, facing your fears will make you very uneasy. You are not used to operating out of your comfort zone, but realize that it will only make you a stronger, more confident person. Day by day, it will get easier. And day by day, you will be able to conquer bigger and bigger fears.

Pretty soon, people will be asking you for advice on building self confidence!

About the Author

Matt Maresca is a motivational entertainer who aims to inspire others to take their lives to the next level of personal happiness through self improvement. This growth often begins with building self confidence. For more, check out Matt’s website at MyLifeMotivation.com.

22 thoughts on “5 Simple Ways to Build Self Confidence”

  1. Great post, starting each day with a smile works very well. I like the information you provided here.

  2. What a refreshing post, Matt. Writing down doubts is such a great exercise. Thoughts tend to wreak havoc inside our heads, getting them on paper, really dissolves their power sometimes. And smiling is so important, as physiology affects our emotions so powerfully. Thanks.

  3. Hi Matt, this is simply awesome. Great tips. Thanks for sharing. I will remember the 5 tips and will recommend my friends to follow this when they feel less confidence in their life.

  4. Hi Matt,

    This is definitely a great list of things to do to build confidence. My favorite way of boosting confidence is visualization. I envision things as I would like them to be, play out conversations in my mind as I would like them to occur and I act, in imagination, as a successful and confident person. Because the mind can’t really distinguish between visualization and “reality”, those behaviors rub off on me and I feel more secure and confident each day.

    Thank you for an awesome post!

    Josip Barbaric

  5. Hi Matt,

    I have an unusual one to add:

    Do loads of things that seem beyond your abilities or that seem daunting.
    We tend to exaggerate the negative effects of failure. Often failure can be fun, or we can get better and better from failure.
    We tend to assume that if something doesn’t work out the world would end. But in fact, in general the world keeps on turning, life goes on, no matter what happened. As soon as you really internalized this, nothing can fluster you anymore ;)

    Jonas

  6. Writing stuff down always works for me, and then finding reasonable solutions to the problems. It brings those doubts into perspective, and then into do-able GOALS :)

  7. Brllinat post..

    yea life is all about confornting problems and not running away..

    be a “confronter” and face everything, only way to live a fearless life..

  8. This subject always reminds of the 1939 film classic “The Wizard of Oz”. The moral to the story was that each already possessed the attributes they were searching.. However because they lacked confidence additional affirmation was needed a medal of courage or a diploma for instance.

    Take the advice given in the blog and work on your confidence first. Without that you’ll just be on a perpetual hamster wheel always moving but never forward.

  9. Great post. Thank you. Is it not all about belief? Someone said to me recently that if your dream does not make you feel good, then modify it until it does. The good feeling that accompanies the dream is your belief that that dream is attainable. Maybe you need to attend to the feeling that your intended dream will evoke in you. Maybe it is the feeling that you want and not the experience or thing of the dream. The dream of having money in the bank may really be evoking security. Security is what you really want to dream about. That will build your belief. Thank you.

  10. Love the list, Matt! Thank you for sharing your tips! Through my journey of life, I discovered that one of the hardest steps to take in life involves personal evaluation and then making a decision that you need to change you, notably as you mention, building self confidence. I changed something big when I was at my lowest point by seeking therapy. What’s critical is that you take ANY step to do something different and explore new ground.

    Gail Kasper – Motivational Speaker and Author, http://www.gailkasper.com
    Another Day Without A Cage: My Breakthrough From Self Imprisonment To Total Empowerment

  11. Matt,

    I agree with always having a smile. It’s great how this can automatically rid ourselves of immediate doubt. Also, we should all be constantly doing things that make us truly happy, otherwise it’s time you won’t get back doing stuff you don’t care about.

  12. I used to be a person of low-self confidence. Esp in the initial phase when i started work after graduating from college. I realised that no matter what you do, whether right or wrong, it would always invite criticism and comments. Today, I am no longer what I used to be. Here is sharing two powerful quotes to help anyone get out from living under the eyes of others and start living a life of your own!

    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

    “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” ~Sally Field

  13. Good article. I have found that life requires living deliberately. Else we will be bumped into unhappy situations and may wallow in there. I like the steps you highlighted here, because it means a person has to take the time and decide to do these things. This is being deliberate about building confidence.

  14. Great tips – I’d add another – make a note of all of your successes – small and large so that you start to take note of what you’re good at. It’s a great way of retraining your brain to shift it’s focus to the positives and achievements.

  15. Hey Steve.

    Great tips! Love point 5. Face One of Your Biggest Fears.

    Face your fears. You know the one. Or ones. Avoidance, submission, laziness and denial are the most effective ways to squander talent. For years, I have worked with people who transformed from the inside-out (mentally, emotionally, socially and professionally) by finding the courage to pursue their dreams, to take action, to explore their potential and to do what scares them.

    Craig

  16. A great piece of advice. Two of which I have advised many to do. Writing out what is worrying you changes the way the subconscious deals with it. Clearly defining the problem draws it into a different focus and clarifies the necessary action. Action resolves anxiety.

    Write your own private CV. All the things you are good at. Be a bit egotistical as no one will ever see it except you. It produces the chemistry of winning.

  17. Nice post! I would like to add to this list, “knowledge”. Because the more knowledge you have, the more self-confidence you will gain. Simply because you know more things, and you are able to debate and argue from a good position if you are ever criticized.

  18. I really love this post. This is a great guideline of inspiration as personal development for a men.
    For Daily Inspiration And Motivation For Everyday Life Challenges.

  19. My favorite is number 5. By facing your fear, it teaches you to develop more courage and not have your fears control you.

    Can I add another one, which I have found for me, makes me feel confident. That is to make goals – daily, Weekly and Monthly. I feel that I am more control of my life

    John

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